Ed was in trouble. 
He forgot his wedding anniversary.
  His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that
  goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT

  The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.
  When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and
  sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle
  of the driveway. 
Confused, the wife put on her robe
  and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in
  the house.

  She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

  Ed has been missing since Friday.